By Katy Goshtasbi

I have the pleasure of working with many professionals and students on their networking skills as we build their personal brands. The big question I always get is: “It’s bad enough I have to go to a networking event, but I never have anything to say as I mingle. What do I talk to people about?”

My first response is that if you don’t feel like being at an event, then please don’t go! We all have those days when we don’t want to be around people and be social. If you show up to a networking event on one of these days, you won’t network effectively, and you may have managed to damage your business, cause, job search or personal brand. Why? When you show up in a bad mood to a networking event, I guarantee you the first impression (and last impression) everyone will have of you is of someone who doesn’t want to be there! Who wants to interact, much less work, with someone like that? Not me.

If your issue is that you NEVER want to go to a networking event, then we’ve got some long-term talking and work to do. For now, try to think about the event as a cool way to add excitement and options to your life. Interacting with others is a natural part of living. As a business owner, it’s important that you actually enjoy people, since getting to know them builds your personal brand, which can positively affect your success.

As for what to talk about, you should have plenty of options. I always tell clients that since we’re all humans, there’s got to be something of interest about another person for you. You must be able to instantly scan the room, notice an interesting fact about a person, quickly size up the conversation you can have with them about it, and approach them to start the dialogue.

It can be something as easy as:  “I like your necklace/tie,” “You look familiar; are you a member of NAWBO?” or “That appetizer you’re eating looks good.” Of course, all of this has to be said with integrity and genuineness or else it’s completely useless. That’s why you really must want to be at the networking event and have a true interest in getting to know the people at it.

Also, for goodness sake, please don’t walk around with a big stack of your business cards in your hands. The only statement this makes about your personal brand is that you’re there to make money off others and don’t care to get to know them and build a relationship. Keep your cards in your pocket and only hand them out if someone asks you for one.

Happy Networking!

Katy Goshtasbi, founder of Puris Image, works on the creative process around building a successful personal brand to help business owners dictate all first impressions; increase self-confidence, revenue and productivity; and motivate employees. Visit her at www.purisimage.com.